Red Ribbon Bed Race - A Key West Blog

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The Red Ribbon Bed Race 2010

We ventured out Saturday morning at about 10:00 AM, after dragging our worn-out asses out of bed. Trying desperately to shake off the previous night’s alcoholic indiscretions, we boldly opened the door and walked into the bright morning light of another day in the Conch Republic. There was after all a Conch Crawl to attend!

We walked down to Green street, and met up with a couple friends at the Official Conch Republic Crawl tent on the corner of Duval to buy t-shirts and get our punch cards. Shaking off the last of our trepidation, we steeled our wills and waked across the street to enter the first bar on the crawl, Guy Harvey’s… Well, first bar for us. This was a different pub crawl than most, as there was no one large group wandering from bar to bar.. you just made your own way in whatever order you liked. Not really what we were expecting, but hey.. we’d bought our t-shirts, and we were going to do our best!

From there we hit Schooner Wharf, 801 Bourbon, and the Bull where we figured it’d be just about time for the bed races to begin.

Turns out the races were running a little late, or we were a little early.. (who can keep track of time around this place?), so we left The Bull and went to Rick’s to get our next bar crawl rum drink. We eventually wound up in front of the Red Garter when the races started.

What fun! I’m definitely building a bed and entering it next year. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to make it running the 4 blocks down the street though, I may just have to be the eye candy in the bed while I have my star athletic crew push me to victory.

After the races we went to the grand opening party at Ilona’s Garden Cafe on Applerouth Lane right off Duval. We’d been there once before during the last big pub crawl for St. Patty’s day, they were one of the stops on the crawl that day. As before the food was fantastic! It’s a really cool new place, be sure and check it out if you get the chance. They have a really nice outdoor eating area, and a cozy little bar. I’m definitely adding this place to my list of places to eat at soon.

When we were done stuffing our faces with delicious goulash and other fantastic things I don’t even know the names of, we’d decided we just didn’t have the energy to head back to Schooner Wharf for the Pirates Party and Pig Roast. The sun and the booze and the food were all working furiously to bring us down. So what do you do at a time like that? Go see a movie! We went up to new town and spent a couple hours in a dark, cool theater watching ‘Kick Ass’ and snarfing cokes like we had just walked the Gobi.

Even though we missed the Pirates Party, and the subsequent Pig Roast, I really had a great day. I couldn’t have asked for much more. It’s all about good food, good friends, a cool city to wander around in, transvestites pushing beds down the street, topless, sunburnt, fat men sweating and chuffing beer from metal cans, a drunk skank stumbling in front of the racing beds as she tries to fumble open her little can of amyl nitrate for a huff while trying to keep her braless flapjack titties in her shirt and failing… In short, it’s all about Paradise!

I’d like to say I’m not an old fart and can power through these 4 day celebrations Key West is famous for, but I’d be lying. I’m good for about two days of that kind of high activity, then it’s time for a week of down time! That’s OK though, we can’t all be young and spry… or even close. I’ll be on my couch in the fetal position for the next few days, but by the weekend I’ll be good as new. After all I gotta be ready for the next set of fun Key West activities that I’m sure are awaiting us.

I realize that I’d make a horrible news journalist because I just can’t seem to remember all the proper names and such for these events, or bring myself to look them all up. Many of them, if not all of them are for some charity or another, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t at least try to promote that kind of good behavior. Key West is quite fond of it’s charity events, and I think that’s great! So if you’re interested, check out the official page of the Conch Republic Independence celebration, you’ll find all sorts of good info there.

Here’s some photos from the Parade. Enjoy!

RRBedRace2010 (28 photos)
24 April 2010