Posts tagged "Fantasy Fest"

Fantasy Fest 2010: A Marathon of Madness

It’s A Tough Job,But Someone Has to Look At All Those BOOBS..

I mean really.. if it wasn’t going to be me, who would have stood up and taken the reins to appreciate a week of the saggiest, scariest naked people from all over the world, all collected in one place and covered in paint, stale beer, and beads? I sacrificed myself on the altar of freedom of expression and the fundamental concept of the right to bear boobies so that I could bring you a few blurry, rum-soaked photos of this seminal event.

Last year if you recall, I missed the last couple nights of Fantasy Fest because I had to be in Orlando for a wedding that weekend. Well I decided nothing was gonna keep me from it this year. In fact, I even got in the parade so I could get the view from the other side of the fences.

We had quite a house full of guests on top of everything else.

Thursday My friends Alex and his brother Omar came in on the ferry from Fort Myers. I met them at the dock and we walked past Dante’s where the stripper-in-the-pool contest was just beginning to ramp up. It took everything we had to not go in right then, but we managed to skate out with just a roadie for the long 4 or 5 block walk to my apartment to drop off their bags. Shortly after we got back Christina’s brother Josh and 3 of his friends showed up from Central Florida with all of their bags and other impedimenta. All right!! So far 6 house guests! It’s gonna be a party!

Omar	Josh gets a lap dance	Moose and the Float Crew

We all mixed a couple of cocktails and walked back down to Dante’s where we met up with some other friends from Orlando (who were thankfully not staying with us). The place was already wall to wall half-nekkid people – in and out of the pool. Geeks with cameras skulked in the corners furiously snapping with their digital cameras to get every last nipple they could. I took a few photos myself, but my lens is pretty wide angle (12mm) so my photos are more of the grand spectacle variety. I did however, have a bunch of horned-up guys with me armed with cameras, and they weren’t afraid to actually get IN the pool to get photos, so if you really want to have your hair blown back, check out the pictures on Picasa here.

After Dante’s it’s all one large blur of street parties, drag shows, and parades. Friday my friend Kris and his then-fiance (now wife) showed up for the weekend, and stayed with us that night bringing the total of house-guests to 8! (They got a hotel for the rest of their stay).

I’d give a blow-by-blow of the entire madness, but it would be unnecessarily byzantine, and really.. who cares. You’re just here to look at the boobs right? I will say that actually being IN the parade was an amazingly surreal experience. It took probably 4 hours to walk the entire route, and my feet were killing me! But it’s an experience I wouldn’t trade. I missed out on getting lots of photos of the individual floats, but I think in return I got lots of great photos of the people, and that’s really the better part of the trip.

I’ve broken the photos up into 4 albums:

Dante’s Pool Party (Thursday)
Thursday Night (Out on the streets, and the drag show)
Friday (Local’s Parade, a bit out and about at night)
Saturday (In the parade)

I’ve pared the massive amount of images down to about a third of what I have for these albums. These are photos from my camera as well as my friends cameras, so invariably there was a lot of duplication. I hope I got all the blurry, boring, or duplicate photos out of there, but if not.. eh.. life goes on. Be warned however, there is a lot of nudity in there, if you are in any way easily offended by nipples, don’t look.

All in all a fantastic week-long event. Everyone gets along, there are people dancing in the streets, and lots of good drinks and food. I’ve never been to Mardi Gras, but I’m pretty sure Key West gives New Orleans a run for their money with this one…

Cheers!
M

Fantasy Fest; it was fun, but now you must go.. Part TWO

OK.. finally, the second part of my Fantasy Fest post!

The Haunted fort is all cleaned up, we had our Wrap Party out on the beach last Sunday night, and my life has returned to something resembling normalcy. What a crazy month! Now back to where I left off….

After Walter got on the ferry back to the mainland, and Christina and I had our night of relative peace and quiet, the next wave of visitors drove into town.. Christina’s brother Josh and his friend Jeff. They arrived Wednesday evening around 8:00. I’d made some paella for the occasion, so we feasted on that and had some drinks at the apartment before heading to Duval street.

We wandered around on Duval for a couple of hours, and after tiring of that madness, we walked over to Schooner Wharf to visit Frank Everhart. Josh hadn’t seen Frank perform before, so I knew that would be big fun!

True to form, Frank blew Josh and Jeff’s mind with some truly amazing magic, and topped it all off by pulling Josh’s phone number out of thin air and laying it out in cards on the table.. by this time it was pretty late, and Christina and I were pretty much ready to crash, she had to work in the morning, and I’m just getting too old to be out past midnight!

We walked back to the apartment and Josh and Jeff went back down to Duval to see some more of the madness. It was after midnight at this point, yet they were bound and determined to get up early and hop a fishing charter at 8 AM. Beer goggles make everything possible! I was doubtful they’d make it…

When I woke up Thursday morning, Christina had already left for work, and Josh and Jeff were snoring loudly in the living room. It was almost 10:00 AM.. I guess no fishing for them! The apartment stunk mightily of stale beer and seafood from the paella I’d cooked, which the two wonder drunks had finished off at 4 AM when they got in. At least I didn’t have to deal with leftovers filling up the fridge. The best part was that there wasn’t any food on the floor or the walls, which was an improvement over Walter’s visit (I’m still finding LoMein noodles in strange places).

We showered, fiddled about for a while, then left the apartment to find some food at around 1:00 in the afternoon. We walked down to the marina and wound up bellying up to the bar at Conch Republic Seafood… apparently it was time for a Bloody Mary!

We ordered some of the always fantastically yummy food there. I nursed my bloody mary while waiting for the food and prayed for my head to stop swimming. When the food did arrive, I switched up to a Blue Moon, and launched into my chicken fingers. When lunch was finished we all looked at each other and wondered what to do next. Eventually we settled on a swim in the pool at Dante’s.

Dante’s is another favorite place of mine to go, it’s essentially a big swimming pool with a tiki bar on each corner of the large pool deck; there’s a waterfall, a fish fountain in the middle of the pool, and it overlooks the marina.. what more could you want from a place? Food? YES, they they have good food too! I have yet to write a review here on ConchTales about Dante’s.. I guess I should get on that now that the October madness is over.

Dante’s or Bust!

We walked back to the apartment and picked up some towels, changed into swim trunks and headed back down to the marina. A quiet float in the pool was the only thing on my mind right then.. to let it wash the cobwebs from my head and get me ready to face yet another night of excessive insanity!

I knew we were in trouble when we walked up to the front… there was a live band playing.. so much for a quiet float. Luckily they were good so we continued on, but the real shocker was yet to come… the pool was FULL of naked women.

Well Men too, and luckily they weren’t naked, but still, I tried to not register the dudes . In all honesty, I tried to block out the vast majority of the women as well.. but you have to take the good with the bad I suppose.. after all it is Fantasy Fest, and we can’t start discriminating now.. that would run contrary to the entire premise of the event. The pool deck itself was wall to wall with more naked and half-naked women. I guess my quiet float in the pool was just not meant to be! The sacrifices we make… I tell you.

Well, we ordered up a couple of beers and sat back to take in the spectacle. We were looking over the throng of people trying to take it all in, when I noticed Josh’s eyes get large… I followed his gaze…they had built a wooden platform in the center of the pool with some outdoor carpet on the top, and a stripper pole sticking out of it. Oh boy.. this was gonna get good. I’m guessing it was precisely at this moment that Josh decided the trip down from Orlando had been worth it.. haha.

Josh’s friend Jeff had wandered off by the time we finished our first beers, and josh and I decided he was a big boy and could take care of himself, so we acquired a couple more beers and headed for the pool. I gave the camera to Josh knowing that he’s far less shy when it comes to taking photos of naked girls than I… besides, I was bound and determined to have my float in the pool unencumbered by technology.

We finally made it into the water through the wall of people surrounding the pool, and waded out into the deeper end of the pool where the crowd was thinner. I’ve never in my life seen such a spectacle, and I have to say that it was completely surreal. The music was pounding, the women were dancing, people were laughing and drinking and just having the best time. I remember thinking how great it was that something like this can happen, and no one was fighting or getting all agro.. it really was cool. Only in Key West I suppose… I know if they tried anything like that in Orlando, the police would be tazering and pepper-spraying everyone within a 2 mile radius just for being there.

Well, I floated and drank my beer, and Josh took about 200 pictures. I’ve picked out a couple for the hi-lights gallery I’m posting here, the rest of them along with all my other FF photos can be found on my picasa page here. There’s a lot of them, and most are dull, but I’m not one to edit, so they’re all there.

The stripper contest started soon enough and I though Josh would pass out from the excitement. I got out of the pool right before it started, not wanting to be trapped by the crowd, made my way to the bar for another beer, and ran into Moose.. a friend from the Haunted Fort. We chit-chatted for a bit, and I noticed that it was getting pretty close to 5:00.. Christina would be off work soon and we were scheduled to be on a sunset cruise leaving at 6:00.. yikes.. better get Josh out of the pool! And quick!

The mad dash

I pushed my way back through the crowd trying to see Josh in the swirling madness of the pool.. he was way in the back shooting photos of the strippers like he was Austin Powers. I couldn’t make eye contact with him.. I guess I was going to have to go in and get him.

After about 10 minutes of working my way through the crowd, I finally saw an opportunity to jump in the pool.. I went for it.. dove over some naked women and landed in about 3 feet of water scraping my elbow on the bottom as I went. I was thinking as I stood up and stated working my way to Josh that there had better be enough chlorine in the pool to kill whatever stray bacteria there was.. some of the people in the pool were relatively scary looking.

Finally I made it to him.. I told him we had 40 minutes to get out and make it half way round the marina to the sunset cruise.. he shut off the camera, and we hi-tailed it out of there.

We collected our towels and shoes and such where we left them at the table by the bar, and looking around realized that Jeff hadn’t made it back.. I called Christina to check on her progress and found that Jeff had made it back to the apartment, and was coming with her.. we were to meet them at the dock.

Well, we made it just in the nick of time.. hopped on the catamaran, and we were off for a couple of hours, sailing into the sunset with an unlimited supply of beer and wine.. god help us! And I had to be up to drive to Orlando in the morning!

The sunset sail was fantastic as usual, we drank our fill of beer, and stumbled off the boat around 8:00 and made our way to Schooner Wharf to see Frank again. Once again, Christina and I were too wiped out to stay out too late, and we left pretty early, leaving Josh and Jeff to wander about for a bit before coming home late.

In the morning I packed up my suit and toiletries, and headed out to Orlando… a lovely 7 hour drive. Made even better by the grueling week I’d had, and the small hangover from the night before. The boys were still snoring on the couch when I left around 10, and I made it all the way to Marathon before I just had to stop for Coffee…

Thus ends my Fantasy Fest tale. Christina, Josh, and Jeff of course continued that pace for 3 more days, and the photos of the parades and people they saw are in the gallery.. I can’t decide if I’m glad I missed all of that, or I wish I’d been there to see it all.. I guess only living through it next year will tell..

All I can say for now is.. I’m glad it’s over with.. and I look forward to doing it all again next year!

Check out the full galleries here.

Here’s some of the better shots for those of you who don’t want to weed through 500 photos..

FF2009Hilites (32 photos)
23 October 2009

Note: To see the pictures in the original Picasa album, click here

Fantasy Fest; it was fun, but now you must go.. Part ONE

Well, I survived it. There were times I thought I wouldn’t. And I wasn’t even HERE for the last big hurrah on Halloween night.

The weekend before Halloween my friend Walter came into town for his ‘bachelor party’. It was just he and I, so I figured how bad could it be.. well we pretty much completely wore ourselves out that weekend..

I never made it to Goombay festival like I wanted to, but I had a great time anyway. I think Walter may have had a bit more fun than I did however because when Monday rolled up and it was time for him to get on the ferry back to Ft Myers at 6:00, he was no where to be found.

He did eventually show up, but far too late in the day to make it to the ferry, so the missus and I didn’t get to have that lull in the action before the next wave of revelers came in Tuesday.

He had so much fun in fact, that we had to call a Doctor who makes house calls (I love Key West) to check him out on Tuesday, turns out he had smoked and drank so much that he was on the verge of pneumonia.. well a few steroid shots, and some antibiotics later, I shoveled him onto the boat and promptly sighed a very heavy sigh of relief. It was all up to his fiance at that point, haha.

For those of you who know Walter, you feel my pain I’m sure. At least the next wave of friends were relatively tame and responsible by comparison.

The real kicker to that story is I had to leave that coming Friday morning to drive to Orlando to be in his wedding, so at best I was in the eye of the hurricane, AND I was going to miss my first Fantasy Fest Parade. Remind me to never agree to be in another wedding….

As it turns out, our Tuesday guests became Wednesday guests so we wound up having our night to lay like broccoli on the couch.. a VERY much needed respite. We eventually couldn’t resist, and decided to leave the couch for a couple of hours and make one pass down Duval, just to get a feel for our first Fantasy Fest.

By this time the night-time crowds on Duval were getting increasingly large and more naked. We wandered about sipping a couple of Coronas trying to take in all the madness. We were too wiped out to really spend too much time out, or to really register how many sets of boobs or male genitalia wrapped in sparkle wrap we’d seen. We snapped a few photos and headed back to the apartment to crash. It was all very surreal, and we were beginning to understand just how insane this was going to be…

I’ll get to the real meat of the adventures in my next post. Right now I have to run out to Fort Zach and start tearing down the haunted fort. When that’s done in a week, life will finally be back to something resembling normal. Next adventure is to find a job!

P.S…. no that is NOT Christina in that photo up there..

Haunted Fort Final Shots Before Opening

Well, it was a very long month in preparation of the Haunted Fort. I’m very glad it’s finished. Now it’s all up to the actors who will be working each night to try to scare the masses of people going through Key West’s only Haunted House.

The last week was a constant struggle to find those last few things you always need more of.. colored lights, extension cords, fog machines.. you know, halloween staples. We had about 6 fog machines, only one worked. I took them apart, cleaned them, spoke nice to them, but in the end none of them would come back from the dead. Luckily some nice last minute sponsors bought a few for us.. phew.. can’t have a haunted fort without fog.

Frank worked himself right into the ground on this project, I honestly don’t know how he did it, he’d work at the fort from noon to 7, hit Dante’s pool bar for a drink or two, then walk to the Magic Bar at Schooner Wharf for his magic show from nine to midnight. And he did this every day of the week. His mornings were spent rounding up sponsors and chasing down posters, tickets, and random building supplies. A Herculean effort by anyone’s standards, and still he pats me on the back introduces me as the guy who built the whole thing…. like I did even half of the work he did.

These shots are all with a flash, but you can get an idea of what it’s like. Someday I’ll be back into a camera that can take decent low-light shots. The place really comes to life when you have the 20 or so actors running around in there chasing you with meat cleavers and chainsaws and such.

It was a different kind of event for me than I’m used to, with my big halloween parties, I’d spend all my time and energy on decorations because they space was meant for mingling and drinking.. people would be looking at things closely so they had to be high quality.. with this event, people are cruising through in almost complete darkness with actors jumping out at them.. so things didn’t need to be super pretty, no one was going to have time to stop and inspect the craftsmanship. So it took some getting used to, but after I finally did get to go though it one night with Christina and her Brother, I saw how it works.. and work it did.. people were scared!

I wish I had some action shots of the actors at work, but the one night we did get to go out there with the camera was the night of the Vampires Ball, when there was a big costume party going on at the fort alongside the haunt. One of our party (who shall remain nameless) was too blind stinking drunk to be in public, so we had to leave almost as soon as we got there. Sigh.

Better luck next year! At any rate, enjoy the pix!

Fantasy Fest Officially Begins Tomorrow!

Well here it is.. the eve of my first Fantasy Fest. I’ve been busy for the last three weeks volunteering at the Haunted Fort Zach, helping set up, build, paint, scheme, and generally wear myself out every day, so I’m looking forward to a week of ridiculousness. Add to that the arrival (on the Key West Ferry from Ft Myers) at noon of my oldest friend Walter from way back in middle school, and we are sure to be in line for a wild weekend. He scoots out of town on Tuesday afternoon, and on the heels of his departure, Christina’s Brother and his friend arrive that evening to stay the rest of the week. Friday morning I’m driving to Orlando for a wedding on Saturday, so I’m going to miss the big FF finale parade, but Christina will sub as photographer for me, so rest assured.. there will be photos of that.

Phew.. strap yourselves in folks, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride!