Sitting on the Porch Watching the Rain Clouds Roll In

I had another friend get laid off last week and it has really effected me. I’m not sure if it brought home the realization that I too am out of work with no idea what to do with myself, or if it freaks me out because it means we haven’t hit the bottom of this economic slide yet, but it seems to have tripped me up and I’m having a hard time breaking the funk.

It’s hard to imagine not having the time of my life while I sit here on the front porch watching the mopeds and bicycles slipping by in their endless migration to wherever it is they go. The weather is beautiful (despite the looming grey clouds on the horizon), I have some good music playing on the outdoor speakers, I have a frosty cocktail to keep me company, and all in all I really don’t have much to complain about. But it hurts nonetheless.

I find myself slipping back into fear mode, and combatting that fear is a brutal battle. I know that letting the fear take over again is a backslide into the early days of my new-found freedom from the corporate world. I guess I’d pretty well shielded myself from that world, sweeping it beneath the rug of a tropical paradise, and now hearing the news that another close friend is having to go through what I did opens up a wound I’d hoped was closed for good.

I talked to him on the phone over the weekend and told him he should leave Town straight away and spend a week here in Key West floating in the ocean. Get some perspective. He laughed and said that he’d actually considered it, but I think we both knew that wouldn’t solve anything. I’d made a decision to skip corporate town and live on a much smaller footprint, but that isn’t a reasonable alternative for a lot of people.

So here I sit, Jimmy Buffet playing on the Sirius, one drink down, and no answer except that I know I have to believe everything will work out. Personally I plan to continue my visualization experiment and see what some positive thinking will bring me, focusing on what I don’t have won’t get me any closer to the things I want.

My thoughts and love go out to all my friends in this boat with me right now, I only wish you were here on my porch with me so we could share a few laughs, and scheme our return to life!

The storm clouds rolled right past with nary a drop of rain, and the sky is blue again.. amazing how that happens.