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| A rare shot of Frank not mugging for the camera.. oh wait… |
Thirteen years ago this past Saturday, a magical thing happened in Key West. Frank Everhart Jr. had a birthday, and for his birthday he wanted just one thing… a Magic Bar. The universe looked down upon Key West that fateful May the 15th and decided that a little magic was just what Key West needed, so with a little help from the good folks at Schooner Wharf, it came to pass that Frank’s Magic Bar was born.
For me it all started way back when…
I met Frank for the first time in 2009 when I was looking for something to get involved with during Fantasy Fest. I had recently moved to Key West and was unemployed and bored silly. I think it was sometime in July when I was searching the internet for events that I might get involved in to make use of my long history of Halloween decorating and party throwing. I stumbled across the link to the Haunting of Fort Zachary Taylor and though to myself.. HEY, this is IT! Perfect!
I sent an email to the volunteer link saying that I was looking to get in on some Halloween fun, and could they perhaps use some help? I got an email back from this guy Frank Everhart that said: “sure, why don’t you come down to the Magic Bar and we’ll talk about it”.
Magic bar? I must confess.. at this point I was beginning to wonder just what I’d gotten myself into. I’d been to Schooner Wharf many times, and in fact counted it as one of my favorite places in Key West, but I’d never seen any Magic Bar there. On top of that, I was into the gruesome horror-movie type Halloween decorations, not some namby-pamby kids-magic-cupcakes-and-juice-boxes Halloween crap. It’s a testament to how seriously bored and antsy I was at that point in my life, that against all of my better judgement, I put my trepidations behind me, and trekked down to the Magic Bar to see just what I’d stepped in.
And down the rabbit hole I went.
I stepped into Franks world that fateful summer, and I haven’t quite been the same since. I had an absolute blast working on the Haunted Fort (posts about that here), and I made a fantastic friend in the process. Frank is one of the most genuine people you will ever meet. He’s a true entertainer, and basically just a big wide-eyed child trapped in a tall lanky body. Frank is like that proverbial kid in the candy shop, except that his candy shop is Key West. He works hard, plays hard, and is forever looking for ways to raise money for charities and help folks have a good time.
Frank kind of took me under his wing that summer and made sure to drag me out of the house when I was wallowing in the unemployment blues. He showed me around, introduced me to a huge number of people, made me talk on the phone to Gunnar “Leatherface” Hansen, introduced me to the ring toss game, got me drunk a lot (and always offered to pay), and just generally made me feel welcome in my new city. Oh yeah, he also ran my ass ragged working on the haunted fort! Frank, I love you man, I can’t thank you enough for everything!
I’ve waffled back and forth in the past year since meeting Frank about wether I should write about him in this blog or not because I’m always leery of crossing some line of personal exposure on the ‘net with my friends. I signed on for living my foibles and follies through this blog for (hopefully) people’s amusement, but the people around me didn’t, and I don’t really want anyone feeling uncomfortable because I’m writing about them.
But then I just decided.. fuck it. Frank is a pretty public figure, and it’s not like I’m telling everyone he sleeps nude in a coffin or anything, so whatever. Damn, I’m rambling off course again. Anyways..
The birthday/anniversary party was a smashing success
There were roving clowns blowing up balloons and making roses for the ladies, there was a fantastic show on stage by the great Levent, there was cake, there were cupcakes, there was magic, there was drunken mayhem.. there were dogs and cats… living together!.. MASS HYSTERIA!!
What more could you want? What? A famous musician? Well, just when I thought it couldn’t get any more awesome, I turned around and who was sitting at the Magic Bar? Clarance Clemons! Woah! How cool is that? I tried a couple of times to get a good photo of Frank with Clarence, but so many people were milling around trying to get photos too, that I just decided to not be part of the paparazzi and let the man eat his chicken wings in relative peace.
Around 11:00 Christina and I began wearing down. It had been a long day; we’d met up with Frank for brunch at Dante’s at 10:30, and of course, what’s brunch without bloody mary’s and an icepick or two.. maybe a Jaeger shot.. what the fuck… We left dante’s around noon sometime and went to a going away BBQ in new town for a Navy friend, then went straight down to Schooner’s from there. Phew.. it was time to pack it in. I don’t wanna suggest that I’m getting old, but, you know..
So we left Frank to his party and dragged ass home only to learn the next morning that just as soon as we walked out Clarence took to the stage and finished out the night playing with the band! ARGH! Of all the times to leave the party early! Curses!
Anyhoo..
Frank, here’s to many more Happy Birthdays, and many more Magic Bar anniversaries! I don’t know what Key West would be like without you. Cheers my friend!
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| Wayne, Aunt Ruth, Mamma Frank, Frank, and Evelina |
The most awesome Levent |
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| Ummmm.. lots of people. |
Frank talking to Clarence Clemons |
UPDATE: Here’s a photo of Frank with Clarence that I HiJacked off of the Schooner Wharf FB Page. I hope they don’t sue me.
From left to right: Clarence Clemons, Unknown HAWT girl, Frank Everhart Jr., Evalina Worthington, and Paul Worthington. Rock on you guys..

Last night Christina and I wandered down to the Green Parrot around 10:30 to take in some musical culture ala Bill Wharton AKA The Sauce Boss. If you’re unfamiliar, The Sauce Boss plays ‘florida slide guitar blues’, and he plays it pretty darned well. We’d caught part of his show about 9 months earlier, but had somewhere else to be that night so we couldn’t stay, but we vowed that night that we’d be back the next time he came to town.
Bill cooks up some serious blues, and some serious gumbo… While he plays. Yes, he cooks gumbo right on stage in a huge pot during the show. The first time we saw him all we could do was smell the gumbo before we had to leave, it was maddening.. this time we finally got to eat some! And it was gooooood. It was a little on the bland side, but I guess when you’re cooking for strangers you have to be a bit lenient on the spice. But not to fear, because he serves it up with his own hot sauce; “Liquid Summer”. A few splashes of that, and the taste was right as the rain!
Bill definitely knows how to please a crowd, and he plays with some serious energy. The whole place was up and dancing the whole time. I highly recommend that you go see The Sauce Boss if you get a chance to!
Since moving to Key West almost a year ago we’ve encountered many wonderfully cool and eclectic people. Some of which we’ve become fast friends with, some we’re holding at arm’s length! In the fast friends category some are in the Coast Guard, and as such are at risk of being re-stationed. Three of those Coast Guard friends are leaving the island this month for greener pastures.
I’ve never been one for big goodbyes, because I do believe good friends will always be just that, and distance can’t take that friendship away. And hey, this is the digital age, I communicate online with people more than I do face to face anyways. That being said, Eric, Danny, and John.. I will miss you guys! I’m sure you’ll be back to visit sooooon.
With that I’m going to leave you with a few of photos.
This one is of Danny jumping into the Key West Bight the evening of his going away party at Dante’s. He had a choice of either getting thrown into the pool or the bight. He chose the high road and decided to thrown himself into the bight for our amusement. Danny was always ready to amuse the crowd by snorting hot mustard or pouring lime juice into his eyes. Danny.. I didn’t know you well, but you made me laugh, and the huge group of loyal friends you have here speaks volumes about your character. Go in peace brother!

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And where would I be in Key West right now without Eric (Below). I met Eric while working on the Haunted Fort and he immediately welcomed Christina and I into his circle of friends and made us feel at home. Most of the people I know and count as friends right now are such because of my friendship with Eric. His graciousness and hospitality are unequalled, and he knows exactly when to escalate a bad situation with a carefully placed plate of mustard, ninja-style. Dude, I’m going to miss you most of all.. well, I’m going to miss your courtyard pool, your smoker, and your Porktoberfest parties, but I’ll miss you too! SNIF! Have fun in Georgia!

I promise to keep Key West warm for you!
Yesterday afternoon I was in the kitchen cooking some bok-choy / beef stir fry recipe that I found on Cooks Illustrated (Mecca), and I realized I didn’t have any Chinese Pepper Paste. Now, back in Orlando if this happened I’d have had to shut down the cooking process, get in the car and drive miles to Publix to get my paste and be back home. (That is if they even had it.) This would have resulted in over-cooked Bok Choy, mushy noodles, and dry and chewy beef. But here in Old Town, all I had to do was walk out the front door, go around the corner and walk into my local Fausto’s Food Mart.
Just an aside here; I really love Fausto’s. I’m a complete grocery store SNOB, and though I have in fact lowered myself to shop in Winn Dixie over the past few years due to unemployment woes, I historically shopped at Publix, and before they went out of business, drove 20 miles to frequent Goodings. We still do the majority of our weekly grocery shopping at Publix in New Town, but I’ve been comparing prices, and I’ve found that if Im not buying things like beer and wine, Fausto’s really isn’t THAT much more expensive than Publix. I’m still not convinced I’d want to do all my bulk shopping there, but I just can’t stay away.. they have the cool and fancy food stuffs that I crave. They have Cole’s Peace Bread and Baby’s Coffee.. those two items alone make it worth it! Anyway, I digress, this post isn’t about Fausto’s…
As I was walking back to the apartment from Faustos; a trip that takes maybe two minutes), I had a revelation that this is the way things really should be! The sun was going down on a beautiful day, people were stopped at the corner chit chatting while holding their bikes with their dogs in padded baskets over the front wheels, and the palm fronds were rustling in the late-afternoon breeze. I had one of those ‘moments’.
How cool is this I thought! I ride my bike to work every day – a lengthy 7 block commute, and go literally weeks without even getting into a car. We ride our bikes everywhere, and in the event that we do walk, like when there’s a group of us moving about, it takes at most 10 or 15 minutes no matter where we might be going in old town from our apartment.
The friends I’ve made here in Key West are among some of the coolest folks I’ve ever met. People here really are different. They all come here for similar reasons. It’s like there’s a big polarizing filter over Key West. It only lets the cool, mellow running-away-from-it-all people in.
You might think that the people who live here are are all party animals and high functioning alcoholics, and you’d be right to an extent, but what I’ve noticed after being here almost a year is that these people are not here to drink themselves to death. This is not leaving Las Vegas. They are running away yes, but not from responsibility and reason. They are running away from polite society. Read that last sentence any way you like, and if I were feeling feisty and adversarial right now, I’d elaborate on my idea of what that means, but for now just fill in your own version.
Another very important thing I’ve noticed: The people I meet here are GENUINE. They are here because Key West allows them to be comfortable in their own skin, to let their freak flag fly so to speak. And as far as I’m concerned there is nothing better than that.
I’m not going to sit here and tell you that Key West isn’t without its issues.. there are a few. But they pale when you stand them next to the brightness of the locals and the culture and the all-around coolness of the place.
OK, I’m being beckoned… time for dinner.
M
Edit!: I just re-read this and realized one would get the impression that I am saying that there are no truly alcoholic escapists down here. There certainly are. But I think a lot of people think of Key West as an island populated by those people, and it surely is not. People here get up in the mornings, go to work, take their children to school, attend church.. just like any where else. They just do it all with a little titter because they know something about life most people don’t
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That is all.
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We ventured out Saturday morning at about 10:00 AM, after dragging our worn-out asses out of bed. Trying desperately to shake off the previous night’s alcoholic indiscretions, we boldly opened the door and walked into the bright morning light of another day in the Conch Republic. There was after all a Conch Crawl to attend!
We walked down to Green street, and met up with a couple friends at the Official Conch Republic Crawl tent on the corner of Duval to buy t-shirts and get our punch cards. Shaking off the last of our trepidation, we steeled our wills and waked across the street to enter the first bar on the crawl, Guy Harvey’s… Well, first bar for us. This was a different pub crawl than most, as there was no one large group wandering from bar to bar.. you just made your own way in whatever order you liked. Not really what we were expecting, but hey.. we’d bought our t-shirts, and we were going to do our best!
From there we hit Schooner Wharf, 801 Bourbon, and the Bull where we figured it’d be just about time for the bed races to begin.
Turns out the races were running a little late, or we were a little early.. (who can keep track of time around this place?), so we left The Bull and went to Rick’s to get our next bar crawl rum drink. We eventually wound up in front of the Red Garter when the races started.
What fun! I’m definitely building a bed and entering it next year. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to make it running the 4 blocks down the street though, I may just have to be the eye candy in the bed while I have my star athletic crew push me to victory.
After the races we went to the grand opening party at Ilona’s Garden Cafe on Applerouth Lane right off Duval. We’d been there once before during the last big pub crawl for St. Patty’s day, they were one of the stops on the crawl that day. As before the food was fantastic! It’s a really cool new place, be sure and check it out if you get the chance. They have a really nice outdoor eating area, and a cozy little bar. I’m definitely adding this place to my list of places to eat at soon.
When we were done stuffing our faces with delicious goulash and other fantastic things I don’t even know the names of, we’d decided we just didn’t have the energy to head back to Schooner Wharf for the Pirates Party and Pig Roast. The sun and the booze and the food were all working furiously to bring us down. So what do you do at a time like that? Go see a movie! We went up to new town and spent a couple hours in a dark, cool theater watching ‘Kick Ass’ and snarfing cokes like we had just walked the Gobi.
Even though we missed the Pirates Party, and the subsequent Pig Roast, I really had a great day. I couldn’t have asked for much more. It’s all about good food, good friends, a cool city to wander around in, transvestites pushing beds down the street, topless, sunburnt, fat men sweating and chuffing beer from metal cans, a drunk skank stumbling in front of the racing beds as she tries to fumble open her little can of amyl nitrate for a huff while trying to keep her braless flapjack titties in her shirt and failing… In short, it’s all about Paradise!
I’d like to say I’m not an old fart and can power through these 4 day celebrations Key West is famous for, but I’d be lying. I’m good for about two days of that kind of high activity, then it’s time for a week of down time! That’s OK though, we can’t all be young and spry… or even close. I’ll be on my couch in the fetal position for the next few days, but by the weekend I’ll be good as new. After all I gotta be ready for the next set of fun Key West activities that I’m sure are awaiting us.
I realize that I’d make a horrible news journalist because I just can’t seem to remember all the proper names and such for these events, or bring myself to look them all up. Many of them, if not all of them are for some charity or another, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t at least try to promote that kind of good behavior. Key West is quite fond of it’s charity events, and I think that’s great! So if you’re interested, check out the official page of the Conch Republic Independence celebration, you’ll find all sorts of good info there.
Here’s some photos from the Parade. Enjoy!
RRBedRace2010 (28 photos)
24 April 2010
Note: To see the pictures in the original Picasa album, click here
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