Cool Places

Magic Frank’s Birthday and Anniversary Party

A rare shot of Frank not mugging for the camera.. oh wait…

Thirteen years ago this past Saturday, a magical thing happened in Key West. Frank Everhart Jr. had a birthday, and for his birthday he wanted just one thing… a Magic Bar. The universe looked down upon Key West that fateful May the 15th and decided that a little magic was just what Key West needed, so with a little help from the good folks at Schooner Wharf, it came to pass that Frank’s Magic Bar was born.

For me it all started way back when…

I met Frank for the first time in 2009 when I was looking for something to get involved with during Fantasy Fest. I had recently moved to Key West and was unemployed and bored silly. I think it was sometime in July when I was searching the internet for events that I might get involved in to make use of my long history of Halloween decorating and party throwing. I stumbled across the link to the Haunting of Fort Zachary Taylor and though to myself.. HEY, this is IT! Perfect!

I sent an email to the volunteer link saying that I was looking to get in on some Halloween fun, and could they perhaps use some help? I got an email back from this guy Frank Everhart that said: “sure, why don’t you come down to the Magic Bar and we’ll talk about it”.

Magic bar? I must confess.. at this point I was beginning to wonder just what I’d gotten myself into. I’d been to Schooner Wharf many times, and in fact counted it as one of my favorite places in Key West, but I’d never seen any Magic Bar there. On top of that, I was into the gruesome horror-movie type Halloween decorations, not some namby-pamby kids-magic-cupcakes-and-juice-boxes Halloween crap. It’s a testament to how seriously bored and antsy I was at that point in my life, that against all of my better judgement, I put my trepidations behind me, and trekked down to the Magic Bar to see just what I’d stepped in.

And down the rabbit hole I went.

I stepped into Franks world that fateful summer, and I haven’t quite been the same since. I had an absolute blast working on the Haunted Fort (posts about that here), and I made a fantastic friend in the process. Frank is one of the most genuine people you will ever meet. He’s a true entertainer, and basically just a big wide-eyed child trapped in a tall lanky body. Frank is like that proverbial kid in the candy shop, except that his candy shop is Key West. He works hard, plays hard, and is forever looking for ways to raise money for charities and help folks have a good time.

Frank kind of took me under his wing that summer and made sure to drag me out of the house when I was wallowing in the unemployment blues. He showed me around, introduced me to a huge number of people, made me talk on the phone to Gunnar “Leatherface” Hansen, introduced me to the ring toss game, got me drunk a lot (and always offered to pay), and just generally made me feel welcome in my new city. Oh yeah, he also ran my ass ragged working on the haunted fort! Frank, I love you man, I can’t thank you enough for everything!

I’ve waffled back and forth in the past year since meeting Frank about wether I should write about him in this blog or not because I’m always leery of crossing some line of personal exposure on the ‘net with my friends. I signed on for living my foibles and follies through this blog for (hopefully) people’s amusement, but the people around me didn’t, and I don’t really want anyone feeling uncomfortable because I’m writing about them.

But then I just decided.. fuck it. Frank is a pretty public figure, and it’s not like I’m telling everyone he sleeps nude in a coffin or anything, so whatever. Damn, I’m rambling off course again. Anyways..

The birthday/anniversary party was a smashing success

There were roving clowns blowing up balloons and making roses for the ladies, there was a fantastic show on stage by the great Levent, there was cake, there were cupcakes, there was magic, there was drunken mayhem.. there were dogs and cats… living together!.. MASS HYSTERIA!!

What more could you want? What? A famous musician?  Well, just when I thought it couldn’t get any more awesome, I turned around and who was sitting at the Magic Bar? Clarance Clemons! Woah! How cool is that? I tried a couple of times to get a good photo of Frank with Clarence, but so many people were milling around trying to get photos too, that I just decided to not be part of the paparazzi and let the man eat his chicken wings in relative peace.

Around 11:00 Christina and I began wearing down. It had been a long day; we’d met up with Frank for brunch at Dante’s at 10:30, and of course, what’s brunch without bloody mary’s and an icepick or two.. maybe a Jaeger shot.. what the fuck… We left dante’s around noon sometime and went to a going away BBQ in new town for a Navy friend, then went straight down to Schooner’s from there. Phew.. it was time to pack it in. I don’t wanna suggest that I’m getting old, but, you know..

So we left Frank to his party and dragged ass home only to learn the next morning that just as soon as we walked out Clarence took to the stage and finished out the night playing with the band! ARGH! Of all the times to leave the party early! Curses!

Anyhoo..

Frank, here’s to many more Happy Birthdays, and many more Magic Bar anniversaries! I don’t know what Key West would be like without you. Cheers my friend!

Wayne, Aunt Ruth, Mamma Frank, Frank, and Evelina	The most awesome Levent

Ummmm.. lots of people.	Frank talking to Clarence Clemons

UPDATE: Here’s a photo of Frank with Clarence that I HiJacked off of the Schooner Wharf FB Page. I hope they don’t sue me.

From left to right: Clarence Clemons, Unknown HAWT girl, Frank Everhart Jr., Evalina Worthington, and Paul Worthington. Rock on you guys..

The Sauce Boss Kicks it at the Green Parrot!

Last night Christina and I wandered down to the Green Parrot around 10:30 to take in some musical culture ala Bill Wharton AKA The Sauce Boss. If you’re unfamiliar, The Sauce Boss plays ‘florida slide guitar blues’, and he plays it pretty darned well. We’d caught part of his show about 9 months earlier, but had somewhere else to be that night so we couldn’t stay, but we vowed that night that we’d be back the next time he came to town.

Bill cooks up some serious blues, and some serious gumbo… While he plays. Yes, he cooks gumbo right on stage in a huge pot during the show. The first time we saw him all we could do was smell the gumbo before we had to leave, it was maddening.. this time we finally got to eat some! And it was gooooood. It was a little on the bland side, but I guess when you’re cooking for strangers you have to be a bit lenient on the spice. But not to fear, because he serves it up with his own hot sauce; “Liquid Summer”. A few splashes of that, and the taste was right as the rain!

Bill definitely knows how to please a crowd, and he plays with some serious energy. The whole place was up and dancing the whole time. I highly recommend that you go see The Sauce Boss if you get a chance to!

Fort Jefferson and Dry Tortugas National Park

www.nps.gov/drto/

Roads? Where we’re going we don’t need roads….

You can’t drive to the Dry Tortugas National Park. You need a boat. Or a seaplane. Or really good swimming skills. It sits about 70 miles due West of Key West out in the middle of the ocean and holds the distinction of being the United States’ most remote national park.

I’d never even heard of this place until my second trip to Key West in August 2006, when we were looking for things to do one day. Back then it cost us about a hundred bucks per person for the ferry ride, which included bagles, danishes, and coffee on the boat in the morning, lunch out at the park, and a guided tour. At the time of this writing (2009) the prices have risen a bit to 145 dollars. Yikes. Thanks Dubbya. It’s worth it though, as this is one of those rare places on earth you absolutely cannot miss seeing before you go tits up, and you will not regret the adventure.

This is by far the coolest park I’ve been to in the United States. I’m a big huge fan of Civil War forts, and the Dry Tortugas National Park has the granddaddy of them all!

“The Slumbering Giant”

Giant is right. This fort is so big it boggles the mind. You really can’t get an idea of how huge it really is until you walk into the parade grounds and look around you – the inside area of the fort holds 13 acres of land.. It’s quite literally breathtaking.

The fort itself sits on Garden Key, but if you look at the aerial photos you realize that it’s more like the fort buts up to Garden Key, as 4 sides of it are exposed directly to the ocean. The fort is ringed by a seawall to help keep waves from deteriorating the exterior walls. The mote this creates is full of crazy, colorful little fish and is only a few feet deep.

In 1826 the federal government constructed a lighthouse on Garden Key with a caretaker’s house next to it. Three years after that, the government decided the island was a perfect place for a fort to help control piracy in the shipping lanes, and for the next 17 years they designed and planned, eventually beginning construction in 1846. The new fort surrounded the lighthouse and the house, and when the fort walls were finished, the old brick lighthouse was demolished replaced by a metal one atop the fort wall..

Like most things in Key West, the fort was never actually finished. This was due primarily to the advent of the rifled cannon, which made the fort obsolete.

In 1865 the fort was sent a very notable prisoner; Dr. Samual Mudd, who was being held for conspiracy in the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. Mudd acted as the forts’ doctor throughout the yellow fever epidemic at the fort in 1867, and because of his efforts, was eventually pardoned and released.

The fort and it’s surrounding waters were declared a national monument in 1935 by Franklin Roosevelt, and were designated as a national park in 1992.

Fort Jefferson is the largest masonry structure in the western hemisphere, and contains more than 16 million bricks!

I don’t want to try to repeat a lot of historical crap here, but if you’re interested you can get a better rundown of the vast history of Fort Jefferson at Wikipedia.

A La Plage!

There are three small beaches on Garden Key, one faces the shipping channel, so it’s pretty unhospitible, but the other two face the shallow waters surrounding the fort, and the snorkeling here is world-class. The waters around Fort Jefferson are filled with all manner of colorful sea life – there are even some american crocodiles out there – seriously!

The boat captain on our trip out told the passengers that when they were snorkeling, to stay away from the coral, the moray eels… and the sharks! Everyone looked at one another as if they were all thinking, eff that!  I’m not snorkeling now! He continued to tell us that if we left them alone they’d leave us alone, and that the ecosystem out in the Tortugas was so rich, that the larger predatory fish were never hungry, and generally had no reason to come after our tootsies. Great. It was so hot, everyone went in the water anyway - which by the way, is so clear you can easily see 30 to 40 feet.. absolutely beautiful!

Time flies when you’re having fun

I spent the better part of two hours wandering around in the fort taking photos while Christina and her Brother went swimming. I got a ton of really cool shots, but I tell you – I paid for it. It was August, and it was HOT out there. I did manage to jump in the water and cool off before it was time to leave though, what a relief!

I definitely want to go back and spend the day snorkeling around the seawall. Maybe even spend the night at the primitive campground there, now THAT would be an adventure. I can only imagine how cool it would be to camp on the beach on a tiny island in the middle of the Ocean – that will be a future post on Conch Tales for sure…

I highly recommend that if you find yourself in Key West, you take a day and visit this amazing place, you’ll be glad you did!

Check out more photos of Fort Jefferson.

East Martello Museum

3501 S. Roosevelt Blvd. – www.kwahs.com/martello.htm

Another old Fort!

The East Martello museum is located in an old unfinished Civil War Fort on the south side of the Island right next to the airport facing the ocean. It’s not quite as impressive as Fort Zach and definately not as cool as Fort Jefferson, but it’s still an old brick fort, and that makes it worth a visit in my book! Also it’s the home of Robert the Doll, and I definitely wanted to meet him, so we hopped in the car and took a drive over. It’s biking distance (well the whole island is if you don’t mind a long-ish ride) but it was pretty hot, and we just weren’t feelin’ it that day, so we mounted the trusty 4-runner steed and hit the trail!

The East Martello is designed after a style of italian forts called oddly enough, Martello Towers.  Construction began in the early 1860′s and was never finished because the advent of exploding cannon shells made the fort Obsolete. It never saw any hostile action, and is the best-preserved example of Martello-style fort construction in the US, and also the very last fort in the world to ever have been built in that style.

The Bulwark (Outer walls) and the citadel (Inner tower) walls are 8 feet thick and made of solid granite slabs encased in red brick. The inside is similar to other forts of the time with intricate barrel-vault arched ceilings.

The fort is open-air and even in the dead of summer, the breeze blowing through the windows and the coolness of the surrounding marble and brick keep it quite pleasant inside. I don’t find Key west to be as hot as most people think it is, you just need to get out of the sun and you’re fine. And if you can go inside a structure made of solid stone you’re even better off! Add a Corona to that equation and I’d have been pretty much in heaven, but alas they didn’t serve any alcohol. I guess not everything in Key West is focused on drinking!

This is perhaps the most eclectic museum I’ve been to…

The East Martello seems to be in a constant state of… I don’t know.. disarray!  It’s a lot more like a huge garage full of antiques than an actual museum. Don’t get me wrong, it was a lot of fun, and the exhibits are worth going to see, and I enjoyed it quite a bit, just don’t be surprised if you feel like you’re wandering through someone’s basement.

Everything is dusty, and there are areas where it’s looks as though someone got halfway toward finishing a new exhibit or moving an old one when the happy hour bell rang… 3 months ago.

All in all the Martello has the overall appearance of a place that doesn’t get a lot of upkeep. This seems to be a common thread here in Key West! They say things move more slowly in the islands, and they ain’t lyin’. No one is in much of a hurry for anything. I’m down with all that though, so I really enjoyed the Martello; I love old stuff, and I love to see it in a situation where it’s not all roped off and behind glass in an air-conditioned sarcophagus. You can definitely lose yourself in the sheer reality of it all.

The outer perimeter (bulwark) section houses exhibits and such, including Robert. When you wander in from the entrance (where you’ll pay 6 bucks to come in) you hit the ‘gift-shop’ which is just a room with some tables and a strange mix of key west souvenir stuff. You can even get your own Robert the Doll doll! Christina was very adamant that I NOT get one. Damn. We wandered through the gift-shop, and eventually made our way out into the exhibits, and around the perimeter of the bullwark through all sorts of odd, eclectic jumbles of antiques and displays.

When you make it past the inside exhibits, you enter the courtyard at the center of the fort. There’s an 80 year old child-scale play house out here. I’m sure there’s some historical significance to it, but there aren’t any plaques explaining it, and I didn’t bother to look it up online. It’s full of dolls though, and you can duck into it if you’re brave enough to deal with the combined heat and creepiness of being stared at by about 40 really old dolls.

Take the tower!

It was time to hit up the citadel. We walked around the circumference of the courtyard which is mostly just overgrown grass and some gardens that appeared to have been kept up at one time, but now were falling to rampant growth.

I started wondering if they needed some volunteers or grant money or something.. not that I have any.

We came to the entrance to the citadel which was a really cool brick arch type thing.. only one way in! The sign said children only allowed under adult supervision, and I wondered if that included immature adults like myself, but I figured I had Christina with me, so I was covered.

This place really was cool, but if you’re claustrophobic, you might not like the bottom floor very much, it’s a pretty tight maze of corridors and rooms. Personally, I’m usually pretty claustrophobic, but didn’t find it unbearable. From here, you can mount the rickety old cast-iron spiral staircase in the center of the tower to reach the upper floors.

The Art of the Citadel

The citadel houses a display of ‘junkyard art’ sculptures by the now deceased keys artist Stanley Papio.

Papio (1914-1982) lived in Key Largo and made sculptures by welding junkyard debris into art. He was quite unpopular at the time with his neighbors because he would line the road near his home with his ‘art’. He was in constant battle with the local zoning department over his yard where he kept his ‘art museum.’ Papio never became famous in his lifetime, and only now is he considered one of the more important folk artists of his time.

We wandered around for a bit looking at all the cool sculptures and decided to take off to the roof. We hit the spiral stairs again and made our way to the top floor.

I make fun of the ‘rickety’ spiral stairs but in fact they feel quite solid for being over 130 years old. They sure LOOK scary though.

Fetchez la vache!

The view from the top of the citadel is pretty nice. You can see back toward the airport on one side, and out to the ocean on the other, and down into the courtyard at the silly english kiniggits down there.

Back downstairs and up front by the gift shop there’s another art exhibit in a series of air-conditioned rooms – a very welcome break from the heat of the tower top! There are paintings by local artists, and a few of Mario Sanchez’s woodcutting pieces. Cool stuff.

All in all a cool place to visit. You can see the whole deal in about a hour or so, just in time to find a place to put your feet up and pop the top on a frosty cool Corona. Don’t forget the lime! More photos here: East Martello Gallery.

Fort Zachary Taylor

(305) 292-6713 - www.fortzacharytaylor.com

I’ve always been a big fan of old war forts.

I’ve visited Fort Pulaski in Savannah, the Castillo de San Marcos in St. Augustine, Fort Jefferson in the Dry Tortugas, and now this one here in Key West. Out of the four I’ve visited, Fort Zach is probably the least interesting, (Ft Jefferson wins hands down!), but it’s the closest to me (biking distance), so it earns points in my book! Just because it’s not the most interesting though doesn’t mean it’s not still a blast to visit.

I will give fort Zach props in one other area as well, it’s the least busy of all the other forts.. with Castillo de San Marcos probably being the most visited I’ve seen. You can wander around fort Zach with relative freedom, and with little disturbance from groups of school children and gaggles of sweaty tourists all bustling for the best photos.

Fort Zach is a 3-sided fort with barracks buildings blocking off the back side of the parade grounds at the center. Two of the sides are pretty much locked up and unavailable for sightseeing due in part i’m sure to the state of disrepair the fort has fallen into. it’s just not safe to go in those wings.  Strangely enough, the one wing of the fort you can wander in freely appears to be the oldest, and constructed of all original brick work. I guess they knew what they were doing back in 1845! The other two wings were rebuilt at some point with reinforced concrete, and we all know what salt water does to iron rebar in concrete.. I don’t know how they will keep it form disintegrating completely at some point in the future.

A brief history

Construction began in 1845, and was completed in 1860. The fort was named after president Zachary Taylor in 1850 after his sudden death in office.

Originally the fort was 3 stories tall, but in 1889 the top two levels were demolished to make way for more modern weapons. Too bad! It would have been much more impressive if it were still intact. I can’t find a photo from way back then, but I was able to dig up a painting. (to the left).

In the early days of the Civil war in 1861 the fort was seized by Union forces under the command of Captain John Milton Brannan, preventing it from falling into Confederate hands. During this point the fort was primarily used to threaten blockade runners. The fort saw heavy use again in the late 1890′s during the Spanish-American war.

In 1948 the Army, having no more need of it,  turned the fort over to the U.S. Navy. In 1968 a team of volunteers began excavating the abandoned areas of the fort, finding the largest collection of Civil War Cannons in the nation. When the top two stories were demolished and two of the wings filled in, they had used the old cannons as filler! Fort Taylor was placed on the National Register of Historic Places in 1971, and designated a National Historic Landmark in 1973.

Originally the fort sat out in the ocean and was accessed by a 1000′ causeway, but due to the filling in of the areas around it to build the State Park, the fort is now landlocked. The mote was added in 1989 to give visitors a better sense of what it looked like originally.

When can I move in?

I wandered around in here for about an hour and a half. It’s not nearly as large as some of the other forts I’ve visited, and like I said, there’s not much to see in the two closed off wings, but the remaining red-brick construction barrel-vault wing is a very cool thing indeed. You can really get a sense of creeping claustrophobia in some of those dark small rooms. The lack of other visitors just makes it all the more creepy… I absolutely loved it.

You can really get a sense of what it must have been like huddled up inside here while cannons boomed and gunfire raged. The latrine is an interesting place to visit in the far back of the right wing. It was so dark I couldn’t get a good photo, but back in the day I guess the latrines were flushed by the ocean waves.. interesting!

They’re currently rebuilding the roof and renovating the old barracks on the back side of the parade grounds, so I wasn’t able to get in there to take photos, but I was heartened to see some renovation efforts. Maybe they won’t let this old treasure fall apart after all. I’ll definitely have to go back when it’s done and get some pix.

Up top

The view from the top is very nice, you can look out to the shipping channel that runs into Key West bight. The cruise ships go right by here too, and if you’re lucky one will rumble past when you’re up top.. I’m still amazed at how huge those things are!.. it’s quite a sight.

You can see where all the cannons were attached and check out some of the half-excavated old civil War cannons buried in the concrete foundations of the newer part of the fort. You also have a pretty cool view of backside of Fort Zach Beach and the Submarine port at the Truman Annex.

For the week preceeding Halloween during Fantasy Fest, the fort becomes a haunted house with a Civil War and Haunted Key West theme. Definitely something worth checking out. Check out the Haunting of Fort Zachary Taylor website.